Growing up I was always a little bit bigger than most of the kids my age. I have said before that I was born overweight and so I have a good excuse for always being overweight. I was one of those ten pound plus babies that moms tell horror stories about. When I became old enough to go to school I was close to the youngest in my class, with a birthday late in October, but still the largest.
There were expectations that were always put on me by others because of my size. People thought I was older, more mature, and ready to do things before I was quite ready. Coaches and classmates always thought I should be on the football team (it didn’t work; I didn’t have the mean gene). Very often, however I was larger and stronger than even my own maturity was able to process and from time to time it got me into trouble, mostly with my little brother, sometimes at school.
One of my mother’s lines was, “You just don’t know your own strength.”
Being self-aware of our impact on others is something to be cautious about. Being oblivious to our impact on others can put us in a difficult situation. Not long ago I was waiting around church for a memorial service to begin when a young man came in and went right to the sound system and started to slide things out, turn knobs and pull cords. “Wait, please, can I help you?” I said. Later the same young man was moving furniture, sliding tables and clearing the counters; again without saying a word to me or anyone else. When he removed the candles from the altar and began to put them in a cupboard I finally had to stow my courteous minister restraint and say, “NO, those will stay there for the service!” The young man’s actions were driven by a lack of awareness of how he might impact others, he was focused only on what he wanted to accomplish.
I have been in committee meetings where my influence is stronger than I wish it to be. I have been involved in the workings of business arrangements where I might have gone a little easier on someone. I have even stated my case a little too strongly at church a time or two failing to realize that people listen to me and will yield to my wishes when I feel they should speak up more for their own concerns. Sometimes I still don’t know my own strength.
While I believe it is important to express our feelings, being straightforward and direct, we must strive to balance that and be sensitive to etiquette, the other’s feelings, and the situation we are in so that we don’t inadvertently put ourselves ahead of the needs of others. Knowing one’s own strength is a lifelong learning process. Think about the other person or people and strive towards the more humble approach.
Thank you for reading.
Blessings to you friend.
